STOP JUDGING - Changing your Thoughts
(I wrote this back in July of 2018. Two whole years ago but the relevance I felt of it in my life right now while reading it was so real I had to hit publish.)
You cannot change someone's mind, you can influence their thoughts perhaps but ultimately they choose their life.
People are going to do what they are going to do.
Too often we get into this set state of mind where we think everything would just be perfect if everyone around us lived how we lived or just did the things we wanted them to do. We think they'd be better off if they'd listen to us. And maybe, maybe sometimes we're right, but we cannot control other people. We can only control ourselves. We cannot be putting people into these boxes we create for them. We expect everyone to be just like us or to live just like us. But what happens when they don't? We judge them, often too harshly too. We think if someone wears different clothes then us or if they don't have money as we do then their value decreases. Tell me, why do human beings value decrease or increase based on material things? Why do we put so much weight in these things we can hold and purchase. Why has our world become so bound to product demands and retail therapy?
It's no different in society now than it was in medieval times when people were divided into upper, middle and lower classes based on family breeding and money. We still are doing that, it's just behind closed doors. It's just in our own heads. Because we come from that system. We learned about those times. We know that world. We are used to it. It everywhere around us. We are told and shown and yelled at to buy the best things, buy more and more and more. As if we need to in order to climb the social class ladder. But what if there was no ladder? What if it's all in our heads?
What if we didn't need to compete with anyone else?
And we could just be ourselves standing raw, who we are, are we were enough. But to do that we have to stop letting ourselves think that we aren't enough.
So, changing our thoughts. Not as easy as it sounds right? Start small, all it takes is a firm decision to make a mindset change. Like anything in life, you can't go at it what's the mindset of oh well maybe I'll get there someday, I hope I can do better, I guess I'll try, you're never going to get anywhere if you don't make up your mind. Make a decision and tell yourself instead that you will watch your thoughts, that you are going to get better at this. Ever heard the saying life is 5% circumstance and 95% your reaction to the circumstance? It's true with this too. Your mind is incredibly powerful. And you have the power to control it. You control how you react and you can choose negative or positive.
Feelings vs mindset.
Feelings and thoughts do not have to be connected. A lot of the time we get to the stuck in the idea that what we're feeling is true and what we're feeling makes us think the way we think. That doesn't have to be the case. In this scenario I like to think about feelings as being an external, almost separate being from your thoughts and your mind. You do not have to accept your feelings. You do not have, to be controlled by your feelings. You feelings do not dictate your thoughts and actions. Don't let your feelings run you over. Don't give feelings the reins to your brain. Most of the time what we are feeling is an extreme, at best, of what is actually going on. More often than not though our feelings are not even true, they are not even realistic. Our feelings can be dramatic, so we cannot put our mind in the care of them because we'll just end up with dramatic, messy, unreasonable thoughts. Which turn into dramatic, messy, and unreasonable actions and words.
So if we want to as a society change how we treat people and stop judging others we have to start with our own mind set. We have to stop looking at people by what they do or don't own or what they do or don't buy. We have to stop trying to cram them into these molds and start accepting people the way they are. And it all starts with our thoughts.