Why I blog + Running towards Purpose

 I started this blog as an angsty middle schooler with a lot of passion for creativity and a voice she wanted people to hear. As I look back now, as a college sophomore with hopes of a creative career in my future, I see the reason and the need for this little outlet that girl had back then. And even though no one saw it, she was seeing it. She was being it. And I know that this whole website was just a place for me to be. To exist on my own terms and to express whatever it was I wanted to say. I didn't need or want the validation of viewers to scrutinize my content I only wanted just do it. 

I just started reading Jess Connolly's book, "You Are The Girl For The Job" and even though the only reason I picked it up was because I loved her other book "Wild and Free" recommend to me by a dear friend. That book most definitely changed my life, so I figured any other of her books would be no different. And it would be a way to help me out of this "shame spiral" as Elle Woods calls it that I've been in. But I had no idea the validation I would get in just the first thirty-eight pages. Just the Introduction! In those thirty-eight pages, I was reassured that God was working in my life in a way I'd never seen him do before. He was showing me how to quit so that I could get started.

I had to quit the expectations. The desire to be the best. The pressure to be what I thought was "good enough" for everyone else. I had to quit wanting to be the best writer. Or the best dancer. Or the cutest. Or the most encouraging. I had to quit and just be. 

Even now, as I write this I feel the expectations of wanting to write something great for someone else to read creeping up on me and stomping out my creativity. I feel like I have to write something good when in reality I just have to write something. Whether it is good to you or not, if it's authentic to me and God speaking wisdom, it is good. 

If I hadn't picked up this book, God would still be doing the work that is discussed in those 38 pages. He's still changing my heart, and my direction in life. He's pushing me to quit the old and start new. It's not the book that is magically doing this work of revelation in me. It's the Holy Spirit. Jess Connolly is only helping me to realize it. 

So though this post is for me and my voice, let me leave you, reader, with this encouragement from Jess. 

You Are The One For The Job.

Whatever God is stirring in your heart today, regardless of if it was what you thought you were going to do with your life, or what you had planned. Follow it, chase it and dare to be it. God is moving in ways you have no idea and couldn't possibly see so trust that things are going to work out and that your calling is waiting for you. Quit all expectations and races that don't serve your purpose. You don't have to be the best you just have to be. So grab your pen, paintbrush, or whatever, and start moving on the canvas that is your life. 

With Love,

Kimi

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